According to Elisabeth Kubbler Russ when we are dying or we have suffer a catastrophic loss, we all move into 5 distinct stages of Grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true, we become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves, then we bargain, we beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls, in exchange for just one more day, when the bargaining as failed, and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can, we let go, we let go and move into acceptance. In medical school we have a hundred class to teach us how to fight out death, and not ONE lesson on how to go on living. The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over a fiction or loss. Sharp sorrow, painful regrets, as surgeons scientist we're taught to learn from and rely on books on definitions, on definitives, but in life, strict definition rarely apply, in life grief can look like a lot of things that bear a little resemblance to sharp sorrow. Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve, its life, its loss, it's change and when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes has to hurt so bad, the thing you have to try to remember is that it can turn on a dime, that's how you stay alive, when it hurts so much you can't breathe that's how you survive. And remember that one day somehow impossibly you won't feel this way it won't hurt this much. Grieve comes on his own time for everyone, in its own way, so the best we could do and the best anyone can do is try for honesty. The really crappy thing the very worse part of grief is that you can't control it, the best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can, the very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again, and always every time it takes your breath away. There are 5 stages of grief they look different on all of us but there are always five.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Izzie: I'm wishing for a brain tumor. I'm wishing all the time for a giant tumor that would just press down on my brain and make me hallucinate George. So that I could talk to him again. So I can laugh with him again, I ... I miss him so much I miss him all the time and I just wanna feel better even for a minute you know I just want to not be a person who wishes for a brain tumor just for one minute, and I can't drink because of the cancer meds, I don't do drugs I can't even work right now. I don't have any distractions I'm so alone and I miss George so please please come inside and make me feel better
Alex: I miss George?! Nice! Really seductive!
Miranda: I am an attending and I'm a single mother and I lost O'Maley and uh I just can't I can't care anymore, Stevens is not my child, O'Maley was not my child I have to stop treating ... I just have to stop caring so much. I just can't keep feeling like this not at work I have to save the feeling for my son who needs it, so I just can't keep that away here so... I can't I won't